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Welcome!

About bit about me:

Hi everyone! My name is Jayden Vincente (or J. R. Vincente) and I am an author of erotic fiction. I’ve been writing for 15 years and published my first novel in 2015! I am active in the BDSM lifestyle and have been focusing my writing on Dominant and submissive relationships.

Published Novels:

Exploration: An Erotic Novel

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Available on Nook, Smashwords, and Kindle:

What would you do with the sudden opportunity to explore any facet of sexuality and BDSM with no judgment, prejudice, or dangerous consequences? In Mara’s community of Zebulon, that’s what she’s about to find out. With endless possibilities for exploration, she’s asked to work on a special assignment—an offer that will change the course of her life.

Continue reading

The Eve

Most people get excited about October 31st because it’s Halloween. There’s Trick or Treat and Candy galore and costumes and parties…

I get excited because at midnight, I get to start my favorite month of the year. Except this year it’s going to be TOTALLY different. I remember thinking about this night back in March, and how we had to be through this pandemic by then, because how could November come without parties and Thanksgiving dinner and NaNo events and midnight-write-ins and 24-hour marathons and Panera!?

And yet here we are, facing a month of virtual events.

I don’t write well at home. I never have. Too many distractions. If I’m being honest, there may be a lot of evenings spent sitting in the Panera parking lot, crying and missing my friends. But even though 2020 has taken a lot from me and a lot more from many others, it will NOT take NaNoWriMo from me.

So join me in reclaiming November, finding our voices again, and reaching our goals. We write at Midnight.

Vote…vote…for the love of…

Please vote. Please.

I try not be too political here (because I need a mental break for it and I am very political on my personal pages).

But for the love the world, please vote. I won’t even tell you how to vote, because obviously that’s your right to choose. (Though if you have half a brain, you won’t vote for the current power.)

Why should you vote?
Vote for the children.
Vote for the people who don’t look like you (or maybe they do).
Vote for the people who don’t have a voice.
Vote for the people who didn’t make it to the election.

And this is the point where I have to stop writing because I think of the kids separated from their parents, the people who’ve died at the hands of those who were supposed to protect them, the people who’ve had their rights granted and taken away, and face them being taken away again…

Just please go vote.

Only Human

I have a tendency to fall in love with a song and listen to it on repeat until someone wants to murder me. I will often use headphones so no one else has to hear it, except I can’t do that when I’m playing it on the piano and singing.

I fell in love with a song I heard on the radio in just that way, and I purchased the sheet music, and then bought the “album” (of mp3s). I won’t go into my frustrations about not being able to download the ACTUAL song I wanted even though I paid for it, but I’m listening to the rest of the album now and the song (referenced above) is about to be my next obsession.

I highly recommend you give it a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEnRa1_arv4

There are parts of it that resonate to the depths of my soul right now. And I am afraid that that might show through in my characters this November. But you know what, maybe it will be cathartic?

What do you listen to while you write?

Ah crap…

Sorry friends. I think you all know the drill. I’m fine, physically. Dealt with some personal relationship shit. Some things are great, and other things are terrible. Writing was just… not possible. I am hoping to turn that around with NaNoWriMo November 1st. We’ll see how it goes.

I have a plan though! I don’t think I have the mental capacity for a novel, but “short” stories I can manage. (Usually my “short” stories end up at 10-20,000 words.) So I think I’m going to try to write a bunch, maybe with some themes.

The theme I was thinking of going for was MFM, because, well, you read my blog…

I am also toying with the idea of writing a series of tragedies. Or at least, temporary tragedies. Relationships ending. Broken hearts. With maybe a touch of hope at the end. That is SO far removed from what I usually write, but it might be a thing.

Anyway, if you want to drop suggestions in the comments for fun threesome scenes, I’m all ears! I’d have fun getting a little inspiration from you all. That was so fun when I did 1,000,000 years ago (I mean…March?). I’m looking forward to getting back into writing. Who else is doing NaNo?

Whoops

I was doing so well at the beginning of June. I had daily posts for a while, even! And then…yeah. It dropped off again. I have no real excuse. I just…get too distracted. I had hoped that being home, I would get more done, but it has definitely been the opposite. It’s really hard for me to focus when I’m at home. I’m constantly going, “Well, there are dishes to do” or “I could be cleaning this” or my child is talking to me or whatever. I always got my best writing done at a restaurant. Well. That ain’t happening. So…I have to figure out how to force myself to get my writing done at home.

And now that we’re in the second half of the year, I can say unequivocally that I will NOT be writing 1,000,000 words in 2020. I’ll blame the pandemic. But, I have written over 200,000 so far, and published two novels! That’s a lot more productive than any other year, so I’m not complaining. I have also gotten a lot done around my house. A lot of cleaning and organizing, and I reached some other personal goals. So all in all, it hasn’t been a bad year in terms of productivity. (And that’s what I’m going to focus on, because the terrible things going on in the world are fucking terrible, and I’ll deal with that on my non-writery social media.)

So, lots of love to my readers and followers. There isn’t enough love in the world, so when you find it, cherish it and share it. ❤

Relaxed

I have been very inspired lately to write about true experiences that are happening for me right now. This has in part been inspired by the Erotic Journal Challenge Prompt for June – Relaxed. So here’s another true story for you:


My alarm goes off at the usual time, and I groan. I was up late last night, and I don’t want to be awake now. I sit up and take my morning pills and decide I’m going back to sleep. It’s my day off, technically. I nestle back under the covers, rubbing my face on the soft, cool pillowcase, and relax back into sleep.

I come out of sleep again to feel your hand on my back. You’re rubbing my stiff muscles, and I drift in and out of sleep for…a while. I’m not sure how long your fingers knead my back, your nails lightly scraping my skin. I feel so relaxed. I never want to move again.

But you know I’m waking up, and I know I don’t have much longer to enjoy your hands on my body. You whisper in my ear, “What do you think of me putting nipple clamps on you while I flog you?”

A rush of heat floods my senses. It sounds painful. “Yes, please.”

“Roll over,” you say.

I do, bracing myself for what I know is going to be a lot. It’s been over a month since you’ve put clamps on my nipples. I’m not used to them. You start with the right one, and I know it’s the more sensitive one. Always has been. I am whimpering as soon as the metal closes over my sensitive bud. The other one goes on more easily, but the longer you kneel over me, looking down at my clamped nipples, the more it hurts. I have nothing to focus on.

“Up on your knees,” you say, and I do what I think you want. I turn so that my ass is facing you, the chain connecting the clover clamps resting on the bed. “No, up,” you say, and you pull me up so that I’m kneeling. You’re so close to me, and thank goodness, because I’m sure I would fall over if you let me go. The chain dangles between my breasts, my big thighs parted. I look down, and for a moment, maybe I see it. Maybe I see what makes you so attracted to me. My breasts are full and firm; the chain rests on my belly. I see the stretch marks, and for once, they don’t bother me. My thighs are big but powerful, and I know I’m going to be dripping on the bed soon with my arousal. For just that moment, I see me the way you see me.

And then all thought is driven from my mind when you hit my ass with the flogger. I’m still a bit sore from our caning a week ago, and the flogger stings. I gasp and my body rocks, the chain pulling on my nipples. My whimpers are constant as you flog me, switching sides halfway through. My nipples hurt so much, but the distraction of the flogger helps.

You push me forward with a gentle nudge on my shoulder, and when the chain hits the bed, I whimper some more. “Oh god,” I groan, and then your fingers slip between my thighs, sliding along my pussy.

“You’re soaking wet.”

I don’t have words. I just whimper. But I am. I am nearly dripping already.

You flog me again, raining the pain over my ass. Even as I think about how much it hurts, I can feel myself getting more turned on. When you finally stop, I am whimpering even more. Your fingers slide along my folds, and this time you press two fingers inside me, fucking me slowly. I push back against your hand, wanting more. Oh god, wanting so much more.

“Flip over,” you tell me.

I do, spreading my legs for you.

“When you cum, take off the clamps.”

Ah yes, the clamps. They hurt when I flip over, but otherwise, my nipples have lost enough feeling that it isn’t as painful. Which means it’s going to hurt a lot when they come off. That rush of blood back to them is the worst part. Best part? Most intense part.

You slip three fingers inside me now, and I feel so full. Your tongue caresses my clit, and I’m ready to lose my mind. I both want the orgasm and know that it’s going to be painful when I take the clamps off. But I’m so turned on that I know I don’t have long. And then you bring your free hand up and wind your finger around the chain connecting my nipples, and oh my goodness, I can’t believe it. My nipples feel like they’re on fire, and my orgasm is about to roll over me.

My eyes roll back in my head, and I grab the release on the clamps. I take them off at the same time, and the pain floods my senses. It’s insanely intense. My pussy clenches around your fingers, a shudder goes through me, and the pain in my nipples all combines into one very intense orgasm. The next thing I know, you’re on top of me, and I’m lifting my legs to let you in. The depth is incredible, and I love feeling your cock filling me up. You pound into me, my breasts bouncing. My nipples scream with pain as my large breasts bounce. I grip them to hold them still, and it dulls the pain somewhat.

Another orgasm overtakes me, between the pleasure of your cock and the pain in my nipples, my pussy clenches around you. I am moaning again, thrusting back against you as best I can. When the orgasm starts, I let go of my breasts, and they bounce as waves of pleasure overtake me. I grip your arms, solid muscle above me and look up into your face. I love watching as you cum, your face intense, your breathing fast. It’s the sexiest I ever get to see you. You make the telltale sound of your orgasm, a sound I have loved for more than a decade. And I sigh contentedly.

We clean up a bit, and I curl up in your arms, your chest hair tickling my nose. I want to drift off back to sleep, but instead, we talk. We talk about how much we love each other, how happy we are, how far we’ve come in our relationship. And by the time we’re done talking, you’re hard again.

“I’m sorry?” I ask when you point out your erection.

“Why?” you ask. “Are you too hungry for another round?”

“Breakfast can wait,” I say, and you grin down at me.

You press your lips to mine, and I can taste myself on them still. I relax into your embrace. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

pink-circle-hi

See more erotic journal challenge posts here.

Connections

Social Media is a time suck. I hate it. I hate that I can waste HOURS of time just scrolling through. I even put a time limiter on myself like I would for a child. It’s nuts. I get lost scrolling Facebook on my computer. The worst is when I catch myself scrolling on my phone and computer at the same time.

I often think about leaving. But… I won’t.

The other day, someone I’m friends with posted something political. I didn’t want to post about it publicly because it involves looking for a new job so I sent her a message. Scrolling up (because Facebook saves everything), I realize that we haven’t spoken directly in 12 years. 12 years! We have liked each other’s posts and maybe even commented sometimes, but we haven’t had any direct interactions.

What was cool about it was that she offered me a place to stay post-pandemic if I’m ever in the area and said that she really enjoyed watching my life on social media. I never would have guessed that she would care that I got married and had a family, not because she isn’t a caring person, but because it surprises me that I would matter to someone else at all.

So, it goes to show you (me) two things:

  1. You never know who your posts are impacting, so go ahead and make that post.
  2. Social media isn’t all evil and leaving isn’t necessary. But maybe limiting the time would be good…

Orange #PUSHunt

Let’s play a game! It’s called PUSH and it’s super fun. Go learn more here or google the hashtag!


Orange.

It’s the opposite color to blue, which is my favorite color. It’s been my favorite color since…as long as I can remember. Blue is the color that everyone goes to when they’re asked for a favorite.

Okay, not everyone, obviously, but many people. I have 0 scientific proof, but I think blue has been the most common favorite color every time I’ve ever polled people.

But what does that have to do with anything? Does it matter what our favorite colors are? Does it have some super power that tells you who you’re compatible with? Does having opposite favorite colors mean something bad? I don’t know. I don’t really believe in horoscopes, so why would I believe in something like favorite colors dictating something?

I don’t. Honestly. But it’s funny that in so many ways, we are opposites, including our favorite colors. And maybe that’s okay. It’s nice to have a colorful world, isn’t it?

But now I think of you every time I see the color orange. For the rest of my days, I’ll think of you every time I see it. I hope that the memories will be fond ones, but no matter how this ends (if this ends?) I will still think of you when I see the color orange. Because while the color (and so many other things) has been burned into my mind, your love has been burned into my heart, and there it will stay.

TMI Tuesday

1. What is your phone screensaver at the moment?
It’s just pretty colors. Nothing fancy.

2. What is currently on your playlist? (list top 5)
Fallin’ All In You – Shawn Mendes
Fire Escape – Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness
Smoke the Clears – Andy Grammer
Ripple in the Water – Pat Monahan
Don’t You Worry Child – Swedish House Mafia

3. What are your last three internet searches?
Facebook – looking for someone who followed me
PUSH – Prompts Unity Scavenger Hunt
TMI Tuesday Blog

4. What is your favorite sandwich filling?
Peanut butter and jelly, triple berry, but I’m not picky.

5. What is one staple item all men should own?
A screw driver

Bonus: If you couldn’t be convicted of any one type of crime, what criminal charge would you like to be immune to?

I would want to be immune to public indecency. Public sex is definitely something that’s alluring to me, but sooo risky. (And yes, there is the factor of consent. But you may notice that there are a lot of rooms in my stories where people can have sex and be watched.)

Check out other TMI Tuesday Blogs here!

Comment below if you’re playing along!

Book Review: Magic Never Lies

At the beginning of April, fellow romance author Erin Leaf released Magic Never Lies. I needed something light and happy at that point in my life, so I jumped into the book and I am SO glad I did. I am, admittedly, terrible about writing reviews, and in the middle of the A to Z Blog Challenge and quarantine and the world burning, I never got around to writing a review. But the fact that the book has stayed with me for two months says a lot about how much I enjoyed it.


The description reads: Blake Gerritt kicked music and fame to the curb years ago and now he’s happy with his anonymous life in an ordinary town in the middle of nowhere. He raised his sister after their parents died and the simmering magic in his blood has faded. He’s cool with that—he’s too old for falling in love anyway. Magic can’t fix his past and he doesn’t need it for his future.

Aaron Wade is young, rich, and miserable, even though millions love his songs. He knows he should be happy, especially since his bigoted jerk of a father is finally dead, but he can’t sleep. He can’t deal. A small town in the middle of rural America is just the cure he needs to get back on track with his life, no outside help needed.

But what happens when love comes out of nowhere? Does a man let himself fall or does he refuse the magic that could change everything?


This is definitely a 5 star book! It was excellent from start to finish. The characters are real and relatable. The magic is alluring without being too much of a focus (though I love some good paranormal romance, this has just a touch). The story held my attention and the characters made me fall in love. If you’re looking for a romance to disappear into, pick this one!

Relaxed, Part 3

Here is Part 3 of my 3-part story! If you missed Part 1, click here.


I climb onto Nick this time, positioning his cock inside me. It feels incredible to have him inside me. I sink down onto him, moaning. Lucas reaches a hand over and runs it along Nick’s chest. I love that we’re all so connected. We have a good rhythm for a bit, but I’m tired. When I nearly collapse on top of him, we know it’s time to switch things up.

I climb off him, getting tangled up in the guys again. “I want to take you from behind,” Nick says.

Lucas lays on his back in front of me, and I lick my lips looking down at his cock. I can’t wait to feel it between my lips. I position myself with my ass in the air, and Nick settles himself behind me, pressing his hard cock against my slit. I’m still so wet from him going down on me. His cock slides into me, and I groan as I take Lucas’ cock into my mouth.

When I first wrap my lips around him, he’s soft and silky in my mouth, but he gets hard quickly. I grip the base of his cock with my fingers as he stiffens. He grunts a little as I take him deeper, rubbing my tongue along his shaft.

Nick fucks me hard, and I’m moaning around Lucas’s cock. It’s so fucking hot. And then Lucas reaches his hand between my legs and rubs my clit. He always knows how to find just the right spot. My whole body shudders. I take his cock out of my mouth because I am panting so hard and gasping for air. But his cock is slick, and I know how he likes to be stroked. I wrap my fingers around him and slide them up over the head of his cock. I use small strokes, and he groans deep in his throat. Nick stills inside me, and I know that he’s waiting. He grinds his hips against me slowly, letting me feel his hard cock, but not fucking me. Lucas keeps playing with my clit. I feel like I’m going to burst.

I take Lucas back into my mouth, feeling the head of his cock rubbing against the roof of my mouth. He’s starting to swell, and I know he’s going to cum soon. I open my eyes and glance at his feet. His toes are curling. I love those telltale signs that he’s close. Nick starts to move again, thrusting slowly at first, letting me feel his full length, his fingers digging into my hips. I love it. I love how he controls the sex between us, how he has this power over my body.

I feel the orgasm building, and I’m sure Nick can feel it too as my pussy clenches around him. He starts to fuck me hard now, thrusting deeply. As he fucks me hard, my whole body rocks, Lucas’ body rocks, and I let the momentum move my mouth on Lucas. As the three of us rock together, I feel my pussy clench around Nick’s cock. Lucas must hear my whimpers and moans, but he doesn’t stop playing with my clit. Nick fucks me harder still, but I can feel that he’s close, and he pulses inside me as he cums. I had hoped I could get Lucas off at the same time, but he’s not far behind. Nick slides out of me and collapses on the bed. I let my body slide flat and focus my attention on Lucas. He’s so close. I stroke him with my hand, and I feel the little tap on my back that I know means he’s close. I press his cock into my mouth, sucking lightly on the head and stroking with my hand.

“Oh god,” he groans as his hot cum fills my mouth. I wait until he’s done, stroking him softly with my fingers, and then I swallow, licking my lips and smiling.

We get cleaned up enough to sleep, our bodies still glistening with a fine sheen of sweat and arousal. Nestling myself into Lucas’ arms, pressing my body against his, and then bringing Nick in against mine. I am surrounded by warm bodies and love, and I have never been more content and relaxed.


Click the logo to find other blogs with the theme of Relaxed for June!
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Relaxed, Part 2

Here is Part 2 of my 3-part story! If you missed Part 1 yesterday, you can find it here.


Even though I’ve screamed out my orgasm, Nick hasn’t let me go. His fingers are still buried deep inside me, his tongue is still pressed against my clit. I’m trying to fight him off, but only half-heartedly. Even if I really want him off, I know it’s not going to be easy with Lucas holding me down. I whimper as his tongue moves on my clit. Lucas flicks his tongue across my nipple. I’m writhing in overwhelming pleasure. I can’t form words, just whimpers of pleasure and then pain as Nick nibbles on my soft folds. He doesn’t usually use teeth down there, but I find that it’s sexy as hell. I buck my hips against him.

When he pulls his fingers out and lets go of my clit, I’m both relieved and disappointed. But I want one of them to fuck me. Or both. Both is good. We settle back into the positions we were in before, with me between the two men. I look between the two men, and I’m overwhelmed with emotion. This is perfection.

I lean over and kiss Nick, tasting myself on his lips, feeling my wetness clinging to his beard and mustache. I kiss him deeply and whisper that I love him. He returns the sentiment. Then I lean over Lucas and kiss him deeply, whispering that I love him. He also returns the sentiment. I could be at peace in this moment forever.

But my pussy has other ideas. I have regained the ability to speak, thank goodness, and say, “Can I ride you, Lucas, while you play with Nick?”

He agrees, and I turn to Nick. He nods, and we adjust, the two men moving closer together once I’m out of the way. I climb on top of Lucas and let his cock slide into me slowly. He shudders as I settle myself down on him. I’m sitting up, my nails digging into his thigh behind me. I start to move up and down, watching as he reaches over and grips Nick’s cock, stroking it lightly.

Watching them together spurs me on, and I start to move faster up and down, feeling his cock slam home every time. Then I lean forward, placing one hand on either side of his head. I lower my face to his so I can kiss him while his cock slides in and out of me. It’s incredible. Our tongues dance, and I want to just melt into him, but I do my best to keep the rhythm going. I bite his chest near his collarbone. I want it to bruise, but I don’t bite too hard. Then I kiss him again before sitting up. His cock goes deeper when I sit up, and I throw my head back in a moan. I want to watch Lucas stroking Nick, but I can’t focus. I’m too lost in the sensations in my own body.

Lucas thrusts his hips, moaning when our timing is just right. It’s incredible. Nick’s hand rests on my thigh, bringing me that connection I crave.

“Nick’s turn,” Lucas says, and I smile, knowing what he wants. As much as he enjoys fucking me, he loves my mouth and hand on his cock. I climb off, a tangle of limbs as we change positions again.


Click the logo to find other blogs with the theme of Relaxed for June!
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Relaxed, Part 1

I have been struggling to get words down, but this morning, I was inspired to write something. I turned into a 3-part short story that I’ll be posting the next three days. It occurred to me that I should go look at the Erotic Journal Challenge, and I realized that it fits. This (mostly real) experience of mine describes a time when I have been very relaxed and comfortable. So here is Part 1!


It’s been a long day. A very long, very emotional day. I slip the thin straps of my nightgown down over my shoulders, and the silky garment drops to the floor and pools at my feet. I step out of it, slipping my feet out of my flip flops. The bed looks comfortable and inviting. Part of me wants to lie down in the cool sheets and sleep for a week. But on either side of me, Lucas and Nick are undressing. As much as I want to sleep, the pull of their naked bodies is too strong to resist, and I’m instantly wet. I crawl onto the bed, fighting the urge to just collapse onto the cool sheets. I have my ass stuck up in the air, and I look over my shoulder to see both men staring at it. I grin and lick my lips.

They climb onto the king-sized bed on either side of me. Lucas drapes the soft throw blanket over his body, and Nick tosses the comforter over his. I lay in between them on my stomach, not bothering with any blankets. Instantly, they’re both touching me. Their hands on my body are so comforting, and I know if I’m not careful, I will drift off to sleep. Lucas drags his nails down my back and across my ass, and I groan into my pillow. Nick’s fingers knead a spot on my back that’s always tense. I sink more deeply into the softness of the moment.

As the two men touch me, I can feel moments where they touch each other. Just knowing that they’re caressing each other like they are me turns me on more than anything they’ve done to me. The desire is burning low in my body, but it’s on the rise. I know that I’m not going to be able to resist it much longer, as comfortable as I am.

I roll to my side, slipping my legs underneath the throw blanket covering Lucas. I can feel his hard cock pressed against my ass as I cuddle up to him. I reach out for Nick, raking my nails lightly across his chest. Lucas presses closer to me, moaning softly in my ear, wrapping one arm around me to play with my nipples. His touch is like fire going through me. My skin tingles where he touches me, and when he pinches my nipples, it’s like a direct line to my pussy. He nibbles lightly on my neck, and I moan and press my ass back against him. He lets go of my nipples and grips my hip with his hand. I know he wants to fuck me, and I can’t wait to feel him deep inside me.

Nick watches us for a few moments and then slips down the bed to crawl between my legs. He pushes my legs apart and slides two fingers along my slit. I am dripping wet already, and he has no problem slipping his fingers deep inside me.

I groan and thrust my hips to bring his fingers deeper inside me. He brings his mouth down to cover my clit and sucks gently. I groan again, and Lucas wraps his arm around me and keeps me from being able to move much. I consciously relax my body, closing my eyes, and focusing on Nick’s tongue on my clit. Lucas begins to play with my nipples again, and it feels so amazing. I slip my arm around Lucas’s back so his head rests on my shoulder. Nick’s tongue and fingers are working their magic, but the addition Lucas in my arms playing with my nipples pushes me to unbelievable heights of arousal.

I am nearly incoherent, but I manage to convey to Lucas that I want him to kiss me. His lips are soft against mine, his facial hair scratchy on my face. I love it. I kiss him again and again, light kisses turn deeper, my tongue flicking out to touch his soft lips. He opens to me, and our tongues touch. It’s so sensual, especially with Nick’s tongue doing a similar dance on my clit. I know I’m not going to last much longer. My breath is coming short, and my kisses are becoming more frantic.

Lucas stops kissing me long enough to bite at one nipple while he plays with the other. Each time his teeth sink into me, he elicits a whimper from me that I know turns both of them on. I know his little nips won’t bruise, but part of me desperately wants them to.

Lucas knows I’m going to cum soon, and I’m sure Nick does, too. Lucas grips my thigh and pulls my legs open wider to give Nick full access to me. He wraps his leg around mine so I can’t close my legs at all. His arm crosses my body and grips my wrist, my upper body pinned by his arm. And then he kisses me. He kisses me over and over again, my whole body shuddering, pressing against him, bucking against Nick. My moans are lost into Lucas’ mouth as my orgasm overtakes me. My hips thrust, my pussy clenches, my eyes roll back, and I am lost in the sensations of two men I love bringing me to the heights of ecstasy.


Click the logo to find other blogs with the theme of Relaxed for June!
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Love Freely

On Tuesday, I answered the TMI Tuesday questions, as I do (mostly) every week they’re posted. For some reason, I had a lot to say this week. So much, in fact, that I’m making a SECOND post. So here we go… The question was a simple one. Favorite quote. I realized that I didn’t have a favorite quote. Though, if I’m being honest, I have trouble choosing a favorite anything. I can’t give you a favorite song, but can I share a playlist? I might be able to give you a favorite book, maybe, but… ahh… yes, I can give you one, but there are SO many others that come close. I can’t give you a favorite movie. How about a marathon?

Listen, I’ve already acknowledged (at least to myself) that I like WAY TOO MANY THINGS.

I’m bisexual (though…that might need some exploration).

I’m polyamorous.

I’m a switch.

If you google those three keywords, you get the addendum of “I’m not indecisive, I’m just greedy.” Well then. There was an alternate, “I’m not greedy, I know what I want.” ~Brenda Howard.” I like that better. I’m not greedy. I know how to share. I just like it all.

This is a problem in my writing. I don’t want to write a novel that’s FemDom or MaleDom. I want one of each. Some of both. Switch it up. Why not? And there have to be readers who want that, too! So that’s what I write the majority of the time.

Anyway.

I got off track. Whoops.

The quote from Tuesday that I chose (ha) was, “I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

Here’s the thing about being poly. There are so many things that assume a couple is just a couple and can’t be more. Greeting cards, marriage ceremonies (you better believe I wrote my own), quotes, romantic comedies, even romance novels, and so on. And most them presume that there’s one person and often this idea of a soul mate. Listen, I love a good romance novel. I love a good romantic comedy. But in my real life, I don’t believe any of that bull shit. I have found (currently) FOUR amazing people who I love deeply. FOUR! And they love me back! (How the hell could I be this lucky? I don’t know. It’s unfair.)

But here’s the thing that makes me angry about those greeting cards and quotes that assume there’s ONE person for everyone. (And this isn’t about being poly, because this applies to *everyone*.) If, god forbid, something happens to me, I want all four of my partners to move on with their lives and be happy. Date someone else (most of them already are), get married (in the case of the person I’m married to), have kids (if that makes you happy, most of them are beyond wanting them), DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS! I don’t want any of them to sit around missing me! In the words of Tony Stark, “Don’t feel bad about this. I mean, if you grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt.” It was kind of a tongue-in-cheek line, in my opinion, but I would hope that they would move on should something happen to me. (And let’s face it, in this world, the odds are increasingly likely we aren’t all going to make it.)

Ah shit, I wanted this to be an escape from reality, but here we are. Sigh. I tried.

So my point is that I hope none of you buy into the BS about one right person, even if you are monogamous (which is totally cool). Be open to love. There’s not enough love in the world.

Ah shit. (Hey, I just said that.) I know my favorite quote now. My mom always says:

Love freely, because there isn’t enough love in this world.

She’s been saying that for decades. And it’s even more fucking true now than it was then. Go out (not literally, fucking pandemic) and spread some love today.

Thinky Thoughts

I’ve been thinking a lot about my blog. I’ve been thinking about what I want this space to be. Short stories are not my forte. I tend to get too wordy, too long winded. I am in the process of writing a novel that I lovingly termed, “Oops, I wrote a novel,” because there was a short story prompt in March and I just…went with it. I had hoped to finish it before the end of March, but…life.

Anyway, it’s a project I haven’t given up on and I hope to be able to work on that soon. So whenever I am in a position to say, hey, let’s make a goal, make a change (I hate change), I give it a lot of thought. What is it about this blog that keeps my readers interested? And in turn,

What keeps me interested in reading other people’s blogs?

Well, for me, I like reality. I like people who are being real and honest. They admit when they have a bad day. They celebrate the good days. I don’t care so much about a specific niche (*coughgrowingupwallscough*), but I do care that the author/blogger is real. Continuing stories are awesome, like the one from Clare Dugmore I read for A to Z. But I do worry that if I go on too long, some people may not start because they’d have to start at the beginning. (And sometimes I do go on too long… Hello Romance novel that’s 120,000 words. The average for romance is usually about half that.) It’s a lot to take in.

Anyhoo… I’m going to try to be more real. I have my identity to protect, so there are a lot of things in my life I can’t talk about. But I will try to be more real. And feel free to drop me a comment about what you want me to talk about here. I can stick to fiction, but you tell me!

TMI Tuesday

1. The best part of your job is _____ .

Ack! See, I don’t want to talk about my day job here! (Actually, more on that tomorrow.) So, let’s pretend that writing is my full time job (Ha!). The best part is getting feedback and knowing that I brought joy to someone’s life.

2. My favorite quote is _____ .

Uh. I don’t know that I’ve ever had one. I’ll have to put some thought into it…

Okay, I did some googling and thinking and I picked one (author unknown): I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

Love is forefront on my mind lately (that’s what happens when you fall rapidly in love). But so many quotes and thoughts about love center around that ONE person who “completes” you and other such BS. I have one person who I’ve been in love with for over 15 years. I choose him every day, and I will continue to choose him. But I also choose several other partners who enrich our lives. We choose those partners together. Anyway, that’s what I like about this quote–it doesn’t suppose that there’s only one person involved. (Uh oh, I feel a rant coming on… Maybe I should save that for another blog post… stay tuned. Maybe Thursday.)

3. The best part of my day is _____ .

The best part of my day is usually bedtime. It’s the time I get to spend with the person/people I love. Being cuddled and touched (often not sexually) is the best feeling in the world for me. And I am lucky enough to have several partners who offer me that. Very, very lucky. Lucky enough that I often worry no one deserves this much love.

4. What is the hardest part of your job? How do you deal with it?

The hardest part of writing is fact checking. Cross checking details, “Was she wearing pink or green?” I once had a main character change hair color halfway through the book. It wasn’t even remotely intentional. Whoops! The problem for me is that I tend to write more about feelings and emotions than about physical appearance. On one hand, I like that because it offers the reader the opportunity to put themselves in the shoes of the main character. The moment I’ve described her as a brunette, my blonde readers aren’t picturing themselves anymore. I don’t know if it’s “right” or “wrong” in terms of writing, but it’s the way I like to write.

So how do I deal with it? Well, for starters, I stopped caring what other people think. Maybe that’s stupid. I want people to buy my books (obviously). But I also like the advice to write what you want to read. So I do. And if it doesn’t fit with what publishers want (Hint: It doesn’t), then I’ll publish it myself (I do).

In terms of fact checking myself, I keep a side by side view document where I keep detailed notes on my character’s physical and mental characteristics, their life experiences, etc. I also keep an outline of what’s happening in each chapter. And when I wrote my first choose your own adventure, I kept a literal note card (3×5) for each chapter. Let me tell you how much fun that way! (A lot of fun, actually…)

5. You must write a “how to guide” about something for which you have expertise. What is this guide about or tell us the title?

Ack. I don’t know that I feel like an expert on much. Not much I would talk about here. I think I would probably write a how to guide titled, “How to be uniquely yourself when the world wants to put labels on you.” How’s that?

Bonus: What would you name your boat?

The Sea Rose

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I’m Back!

So, I haven’t written in…a while. I’m sorry for that. Both for not writing fiction and not writing blogs. The world is burning, literally and figuratively, and that’s been weighing on me heavily. It also weighs on me that I don’t say much about it here. This space has always been exclusively dedicated to writing. I’ve very rarely posted anything political or even remotely close to political. On my personal pages, I’m very political. So, if you’re reading this and wondering why I haven’t commented much on the state of the world, that’s why. This is my escape from reality, and I hope it can be yours a little bit, too. But rest assured that in my real life, I’m fighting the good fight to make sure we can maybe, hopefully someday have a world a little closer to my fictional one with *actual* equality.

That said… I want to dive back into the world of fiction. Let’s escape for just a little bit.

I have been working on 1,000,000 words in 2020. I’m behind. Woefully behind. I figured out that if I write 10,000 a day for the month of June, I’ll be caught up. That’s a tall order, and even though I can bang that out in a few hours if I’m focused, I can’t imagine that I can keep that focus for 30 days. But I’m going to give it a shot. At the very least, I would like to write the 80,000 for June that would have gotten me to 1,000,000 over 12 months.

But that brings me to a thought I’ve had circulating in my mind for a while I wanted to share. Especially right now, things are overwhelming. In my self-imposed writing challenge, 10,000 words a day is overwhelming. It’s easy to say, “Well, I can’t do that, so I won’t write at all.” But… wouldn’t it be better to write 1,000 words than 0 words? Wouldn’t it be better to write 5 words? Of course it would! You wouldn’t tell your favorite writer to quit because the challenge was too great. So you shouldn’t tell yourself to quit either. (Or in this case, myself.)

So whatever challenge you’re facing, see if you can do ONE THING toward your goal. Maybe that’s write 100 words. Maybe that’s get out of bed instead of sleep in. Maybe that’s brush your teeth when you’re too overwhelmed to take a shower. Put one foot in front of the other, take it one moment at a time if you have to, but don’t give up.

What struggles are you facing? Feel free to vent in the comments, even if (especially if) you know that your struggles aren’t as bad as other people’s. It’s not a competition. ❤

Book Recommendation!

I am SO excited to share with you all that my favorite blogger from the A to Z Blog Challenge is releasing a novel, and I get to share with you her cover! It is a phenomenal story, and I can’t wait to see how it ends. I highly recommend that you pre-order it now!

TMD Cover Official 2020_Ebook

Goodreads Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52816657-truly-madly-deeply

Pre Order Link: Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B088DDK2NF

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088DDK2NF

Genre: LGBTQA Romance

Blurb:

Rule Number One: Don’t fall for one of the parents of a kid you coach.

Rule Number Two: Don’t fall for a straight woman.

Continue reading

TMI Tuesday

1. How replaceable are you?

How replaceable am I, or how replaceable do I feel? Those are two totally different answers. I am one of a kind. I’m unique. I’m special. But most of the time, I feel like there’s someone better out there. Lots of someones, in fact. When will that friend/partner find someone better and move on? I try to push those thoughts aside and my current partners are excellent at reassuring me. But I often feel replaceable.

2. Does jealously have value in driving humans to improve themselves or is it a purely negative emotion?

I don’t know if it’s purely negative. I think it depends on what you do with it. If you feel jealous that someone accomplished something and you didn’t, maybe it will drive you to try harder and put forth more effort. If it makes you angry and you give up or treat someone else badly because of it, then it’s not positive. As with most things, it’s what you do with the emotion that makes the difference.

3. A section of your life’s memories needs to be erased, which era will you elect to have erased?
a. childhood memories – age 3 to 12
b. teen and young adult years – age 13 to 23
c. adult – age 24 to 35

Well. If I could break up (b) a little more, I would go with that. But I met my husband in that range. I got engaged and married. I wouldn’t want to erase those memories. And I’m not 35 yet. So, I guess (a) then.

4. With no laws or rules to influence your behavior, how do you think you would behave?

Absolutely. I might have some public sex though. Okay, I definitely would have some public sex. (Don’t worry, I’d make sure it was in an area with no kids!) I would also shout from the rooftops about the people I love. But since I’m married, I can’t do that.

5. Does anonymity encourage people to misbehave or does it reveal how people would choose to act all the time if they could?

I think it’s the latter. If people are willing to misbehave because of the anonymity, then that’s who they truly are.

Bonus: In the time of coronavirus pandemic, what are you rocking–homemade face covering or manufactured mask?

I’m working with manufactured until my homemade ones come in from a family member.

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TMI Tuesday

1. Do you have a strong imagination? Why do you think this?

I do! It’s why I’m a writer. I can’t shut off the stories. On the down side, I often imagine the abso-fucking-lutely worst case scenario. Every. Fucking. Time.

2. Are you confident?

In some things. I’m confident in my writing abilities. I’m not very confident in my musical abilities (which is silly, because I am pretty good).

3. Do you consider yourself to be sensual?
a. You bet I am!
b. Eek, no way.
c. In the right moments, I can be.

a – all the way! I love touching, cuddling, caressing, scritches. Love, love, love.

4. When was the last time you dressed provocatively to entice flirting or attention?

Um. I don’t know. I don’t often dress provocatively. It’s not worth it just to take the damn clothes off. I guess if one of my partners really wanted it, I’d certainly be game.

5. How often do you think about sex?

A lot. A lot a lot. Like, constantly. Or, almost constantly. I’m good at compartmentalizing when I do my day job, usually, but this working from home thing has even that fucked up. Focus is not easy.

6. If someone called you ‘sexy,’ what would you do?

Blush, and disagree.

7. Are you comfortable with your body?

Not particularly. Okay, not at all. I’ve been losing weight, and I’m super excited about that. But I still weigh a lot.

Bonus: Are you good at getting what you want?

Yeah, kinda. If it’s something I want, I’ve learned to go for it, but I won’t manipulate to get it. And actually, I guess that’s been something I’ve been good at for a long time. Someone I was friends with in HS (I graduated 16ish years ago) recently said to me that she was always envious of me in high school because I always knew how to get what I wanted. It was an interesting perception of me.

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